How I Met Mister

Our First Dinner Date at Da Sette Soldi (with my hair straightened)

Mister makes me laugh.  That’s where the attraction began when I first met him in March of 2010.  We were both on holiday in Samoa.  He was visiting family.  I was on a much needed getaway.  On my last night in Samoa before heading to the airport for my 11pm flight, I decided to go out to dinner with my aunt at a hotel in town as they had a live band playing.  I wanted to enjoy the sweet sound of Samoan music before heading back to New Zealand.

My aunt invited a few of her friends, we enjoyed dinner and ordered drinks.  As I sipped away at my Pina Colada; enter Mister. Mister and his acquaintance approached our table to say hi to my aunt who works with his brother. My first thought-such a handsome man.  My aunt asked him and his friend to join our table, he sat across from me and we started talking and laughing.  Within only a few minutes of meeting he managed to fill my heart with a refounding sense of joy.

We ignored everyone else at our table as we engaged in meaningful conversation.  We talked about our dreams, and our varying perspectives of culture.  He moved from sitting across the table, to right next to me and told me I was gorgeous.  Four hours of  conversation came to an abrupt end as I told him I had to leave to catch my flight back to Auckland.  I was grateful that we both lived in the same town and we’d be seeing each other again.  He offered to take me to the airport but I already had a taxi waiting.  I gave him my number.  He gave me his number, address, and e-mail address-this made me laugh and to this day I still have the piece of paper with his details.

We always discuss our chance meeting.  If we had not gone to the hotel that night we would have never met.  Although we reside in the same town we doubt we would have met otherwise, as we have different interests, career paths and different social backgrounds and we frequent very dissimilar places in Auckland.  When I ask Mister to tell me the story of how we met he always starts by saying, “You looked beautiful, wearing a red flower in your hair and a blue strapless dress.”  I remember his smile as I left for the airport that night.

Mister flew back to NZ a week later and asked me out to coffee.   We still visit the same cafe for our coffee dates.  I am so blessed to be loved by such a kind and beautiful man.  We’ve been living together for over two years, every day learning from each other, and building our life together with love.
And yes, he still makes me laugh.

At One Tree Hill.

Love & laughter,
Curly Miri

Thursday Treats

1.  Coffee Date with Mister.  Mocha with a banana berry muffin.

2.  The mustard cardigan I’m wearing on my coffee date with Mister reminds me of these beautiful autumn leaves I captured today.

3.

 Thrift purchase:  Floral Blazer-Made In New Zealand by Betty R Designs.
As soon as I saw the floral pattern I had to buy it, and at $10-a great buy!  It reminds me of this ASOS Premium Quilted Jacket.

4.  This week was full of tasty treats.

Salmon Eggs Benedict: I always ask for a hash brown on the side, an odd combination but one of my favourites on the breakfast menu at Hollywood Cafe.

Mister surprised me with these devine chocolates as seen in this post.

A melting moment devoured in less than four minutes, so yummy!  A treat from The Coffee Club.

Mister and I checked out Hong Kong Bakery.  Our relatives have  raved about their delicacies so we had to try it ourselves.  I picked the coconut scroll and apple raisin danish-oh my goodnes, melt in your mouth deliciousness!

5.

 My sister shared this photo of herself sliding down the stairs on her mattress.  This made me laugh and reminded me of a childhood memory; everytime my brother and I went to McDonald’s we used the plastic trays on the playground slide, fun times!

Love & laughter,
Curly Miri

Infidelity On Your Doorstep

Image: Source

A friend, *Michael is having an affair with a married woman.  On the outside looking in he has a promising career, and a beautiful home with a loving wife and children.  He lives a facade of joy with a married woman who also has children of her own.  His moments of happiness with the other woman are overshadowed by a realistic sense of disloyalty and disdain.

The following interview encompasses only one perspective of a man’s infidelity.  I was with an unfaithful spouse in a previous relationship so I was unsure of how I would feel about what Michael had to share, but I still had to ask.

This interview is a curious glance into the life of a man having an affair.

*Names have been changed.

The Interview:

How did you meet the other woman?

*Lisa was my high school sweetheart.  At one point we contemplated marriage however my parents didn’t approve of our relationship so we went our separate ways.  

When did the affair begin?

Five years ago at a party, I saw Lisa out with our mutual friends.  We partied all night together and I ended up in her bed while her husband was out of town.  We’ve been seeing each other on and off again for the last five years.  In the last two years we’ve seen each other once a month as she lives overseas.

Why are you having an affair?

The feeling of being with another woman gives me a sense of excitement and thrill.  My wife and I, we’re complete strangers in our home and we haven’t even slept in the same bed for over a year.   I’ve always fantasized about having sex with Lisa from when we were together in high school.  It’s not always about sex though, we can talk for hours and we make each other laugh.  We share moments like these that are lost with my wife.

Do you ever think about the consequences of the affair?

Yes, of course.   I know that I could lose my family, my wife and everything that I own like my house, but I can’t stop.  Lisa makes me  feel so much of what I don’t ever feel with my wife and at the end of the day she goes back to her life and I go back to mine.  It’s a convenient relationship.  Lisa works a high profile role in government and if our affair ever became public the implications on her career and her personal life would be drastic.

How do you feel about your wife?

Of course,  I would do anything for her and our children but in any relationship there are four important concepts of success: money, sex, compromise and communication.  I know that I cheat on my wife because our marriage doesn’t have any of these four aspects, it never has.

What does the future entail for you and Lisa?

I dont’ see a future with Lisa as she has her own career, her husband and children.  I could say even though it sounds blunt, that I’m only with her for the sex, the thrill and convenience of the relationship we have together.

Do you feel like you are living two separate lives?

Indeed.  It does get tiresome and my stress levels have sky-rocketed as I’m constantly lying to my wife.  I do feel a sense of guilt but obviously its not enough to make me stop.  I just can’t stop.

Where does your family and her family come into all of this?

Nobody knows about our affair.  Lisa and I have discussed ending our affair because we know it’s not right and we both have careers that we need to focus on.  

Will you tell your wife about the affair?

Probably not.  At times I wish she would just find out so  we could get over the fake charade of a marriage that we display to our family and friends.

If you could go back ,would you do anything different?

The problem is, Lisa has always been on my mind since high school.  She was the girl I wanted to marry.  I look at my wife and I see a stranger and I wonder how long I’ve been living this lie.  I know that this affair will cause a lot of damage, but I also know that my relationship with my wife needs to end regardless of this affair because our marriage is unhappy, and unhealthy.  However, I know that this does not justify having an affair.

Why are you still with your wife if you are unhappy?

Our marriage is convenient.  People look at us and think that we’re the perfect couple, living in a beautiful house with two children and two dogs.  I only married my wife because she fell pregnant with our child at the age of eighteen and I felt obligated to be a man and step up to the role of fatherhood.  I’ve had a successful career for the past six years and I’ve built a home for my family, and I don’t want divorce to take away all that I’ve worked hard for.

Where to from here, Michael?

I know that my relationship with Lisa has to end.  I also know that I can’t keep lying to my wife or stay married to her.  I’m meeting Lisa at the end of the month and although I’d like to say that I want to finish our affair, it’s difficult because every time I see Lisa I’m reminded of  so many happy memories we’ve shared together.   Lisa has asked me to leave my wife and has said that she’ll leave her husband but there is too much at stake.  I can’t just throw away the five years we’ve had together.  I just can’t let her go.

Love & laughter,
Curly Miri

Sweet Love

Mister came home with this sweet surprise for me.  Classic Patagonian homemade style chocolates.  These delights are absolutely devine!  Mister picked out a scrumptious delicatessen selection; Hazelnut Truffle, Passionfruit Truffle, Almond Truffle, and Coconut Caramel.  All dipped in Belgian chocolate.

 

Hazelnut center…delicious!

Oh, sweet love of mine.

Love & laughter,
Curly Miri

Curly Sock Bun

I’ve seen a lot of girls with straight hair rock the Sock Bun and always wondered if it would work with my curly hair.

A tutorial for the curious by MrKate

I didn’t realize how easy it was to complete the hairdo using only two hair ties, a sock and a few bobby pins.  After about a minute my Sock Bun was complete and left me feeling quite elegant.  An updo that I would wear out to dinner.

So yes, works great with curly hair!

Love & laughter,
Curly Miri

I Envy Your Pregnant Belly

I found out I had Polycystic Ovary Syndrome five years ago at age 22.  As I work towards establishing myself in other areas of life such as university and career options, I have neglected what I desire the most; a family of my own.  I had a miscarriage last year due to an ectopic pregnancy; an experience that I continuously reflect upon that not only upsets me but makes me angry.

I remember staying up late at night talking about plans for our child with Mister and the night we got the phone call with ultrasound results that changed our world of content into an indescribable ache.  I didn’t want to leave the house as I couldn’t contain the envy I felt towards every mother I saw walking around with a pregnant belly.  I constantly felt a sense of nostalgia as I envisioned holding my baby; the vision so numbing as every time I opened my eyes I realized my hands were empty.

Anger creeps in when I see so many people who have been gifted children but do not give a damn.  I know people who deliberately choose to have children and yet put in little effort to make sure their children grow with the utmost love and support.

Despite an unfortunate miscarriage, Mister and I still desire to have children.  Everything we have done in our relationship has been a foundation for having a family of our own.  We have spent so much time trying to grow our business and we have come to the agreement that financial stability is required in order to provide for our family.  However, we also agree that financial security is not the most important aspect of raising children.

Interesting Note:  Prior to meeting Mister I did not have a period for over four years (due to PCOS and general unhappiness with body and self).  As soon as our relationship started my periods came around every month like clock work; happiness and love really do make a difference to your physical well-being.

I am now left to wonder if PCOS will deprive me of my desire to have children of my own.  I’m grateful to have the support of Mister who has comforted me to know that once we are ready we’ll do everything we can to have a family of our own.

Source

Love & laughter,
Curly Miri

Thursday Treats

Every Thursday, I will share 5 of my favourite Treats (pleasures as such) of the week.

I love breakfast!  Mister and I are regulars at Lucky Cafe, superb menu and delectable delicacies.  We chatted about the odd fog that swept through Auckland last night.  Living in Auckland, you become accustomed to the erratic weather; seriously we get four seasons in one day.  It’s currently cloudy out but an hour ago the sun was on full blast, and as I finish writing this sentence, raindrops are falling…

1.

My favourite on the breakfast menu is Salmon Eggs Benedict, however today was a bit chilly so thought I’d try the Brioche French Toast accompanied with maple syrup, bacon and sautéed banana.  Devine! (Mister had Chicken Risotto)

2.

High Tea.  I am obsessed.  I have accumulated a floral selection of fine bone china.  I have found individual pieces online, at op shops (thrift stores), and at Stevens (dangerous spending territory).  Of course, I had to put the china to good use with my favourite ladies.  We enjoyed eating an assortment of delicious homemade goodies.

3.

Clothing.  I came across these eggplant coloured Chuck Taylor’s online and thought to myself, why not?  Received in the post this week-super comfy.

Sparkly Sweater.  Walked past Temt and this sweater was in the store window, how could I resist?  The peach tone with sparkles just makes me all fuzzy wuzzy inside.

4.

 Lovely Thai dinner for my sister’s birthday over the weekend. Curly Miri-second from the left.

My sisters & Me

Me & Sister

5.

A Sensei flew in this morning from Japan and personally delivered Mister’s Obi-he is now an official Sensei. Over eight years of hard work has paid off, such a treat for him and a pleasure for me to see to my love happy.

Love & laughter,
Curly Miri

Dinner Is On Me

My love and I went out to dinner last night.  As we entered the restaurant I noticed many patrons looking intently at a couple in the middle of the dining area.  I couldn’t help but stare too.  The guy-tall, slim and incredibly good looking and his gorgeous girlfriend ate away, laughing and holding hands.  We took our seats and Mister told me to stop staring, but I couldn’t.  The girl sitting at the table next to us laughed at the couple, “Omg, she’s so fat, how did she get a hot guy like that?” At that very moment, in a Hollywood-like movie gesture, and as if to flip off his audience, he stroked his girlfriend’s face and uttered such a sweet symphony, “You’re so beautiful, baby.  I’m so lucky to have you.”

So justifiably, laughing girl shut her face.  I admired their strength as a couple and a torrent of memories washed over me.  I was once in her shoes.  I was the plus size girl that people stared at as I dined with my ex, a 6’4 American with looks that have been compared to the likes of Leo Dicaprio (I disagree, personality can make a person so ugly).

Over six years ago I was in an unhealthy relationship.  I lost my sense of self, the weight piled on and my self esteem plummeted.  On numerous occasions, when I went out with the ex people would stare, laugh or even flirt with him right in front of my face.  “He’s going to leave you if you don’t take care of yourself and lose weight,” an aunt would say at every family gathering.  Needless to say, this aunt is single and almost 50.

I have been left to wonder, why does my weight have to define what I am deserving of?  It doesn’t.  A few years ago I could rock skinny jeans in a size 10 (US 8).  However, my relationship with ex-Leo made me feel like such utter shit that I ate myself to a size 20 (US 18).  Our relationship ended and within a year I was size 12 (US 10).  I’ve been called fat and it’s not being called fat that bothered me.  I’m concerned for the idiot calling me fat because their brain does not register the fact that there is more to me than my weight.  I am a person of worth.

I have grown up with six beautiful sisters (one biological sister, the rest first cousins.  Our mother’s are sisters) all of whom are far from plus size.  This is due to genetics, my maternal grandfather is Chinese.

Sisters & Me in the middle

 

Sisters & Me-I’m in the middle (curly hair)

I adore my sisters because my weight has never been an issue to them and they love me as I am.  If you surround yourself with loving people, this will only further your appreciation of self and your sense of worth.  Being beautiful is not about weight or how others perceive you; it is about how you perceive yourself and how you project yourself to others.

I’m now rockin’ a size 16 (US 14).  Society considers this to be ‘plus size’.  I have spent a copious amount of time debating with myself; “Should I lose weight?”

I have reached a point of realization.  I will maintain a healthy lifestyle but I will not let my weight define who I am.  As long as I don’t accumulate rolls that lead me to the danger of tumbling down a hill, I will embrace who I am rather than what weight I am.

Let me show you.

Love & laughter,
Curly Miri