How I Met Mister

Our First Dinner Date at Da Sette Soldi (with my hair straightened)

Mister makes me laugh.  That’s where the attraction began when I first met him in March of 2010.  We were both on holiday in Samoa.  He was visiting family.  I was on a much needed getaway.  On my last night in Samoa before heading to the airport for my 11pm flight, I decided to go out to dinner with my aunt at a hotel in town as they had a live band playing.  I wanted to enjoy the sweet sound of Samoan music before heading back to New Zealand.

My aunt invited a few of her friends, we enjoyed dinner and ordered drinks.  As I sipped away at my Pina Colada; enter Mister. Mister and his acquaintance approached our table to say hi to my aunt who works with his brother. My first thought-such a handsome man.  My aunt asked him and his friend to join our table, he sat across from me and we started talking and laughing.  Within only a few minutes of meeting he managed to fill my heart with a refounding sense of joy.

We ignored everyone else at our table as we engaged in meaningful conversation.  We talked about our dreams, and our varying perspectives of culture.  He moved from sitting across the table, to right next to me and told me I was gorgeous.  Four hours of  conversation came to an abrupt end as I told him I had to leave to catch my flight back to Auckland.  I was grateful that we both lived in the same town and we’d be seeing each other again.  He offered to take me to the airport but I already had a taxi waiting.  I gave him my number.  He gave me his number, address, and e-mail address-this made me laugh and to this day I still have the piece of paper with his details.

We always discuss our chance meeting.  If we had not gone to the hotel that night we would have never met.  Although we reside in the same town we doubt we would have met otherwise, as we have different interests, career paths and different social backgrounds and we frequent very dissimilar places in Auckland.  When I ask Mister to tell me the story of how we met he always starts by saying, “You looked beautiful, wearing a red flower in your hair and a blue strapless dress.”  I remember his smile as I left for the airport that night.

Mister flew back to NZ a week later and asked me out to coffee.   We still visit the same cafe for our coffee dates.  I am so blessed to be loved by such a kind and beautiful man.  We’ve been living together for over two years, every day learning from each other, and building our life together with love.
And yes, he still makes me laugh.

At One Tree Hill.

Love & laughter,
Curly Miri

I Envy Your Pregnant Belly

I found out I had Polycystic Ovary Syndrome five years ago at age 22.  As I work towards establishing myself in other areas of life such as university and career options, I have neglected what I desire the most; a family of my own.  I had a miscarriage last year due to an ectopic pregnancy; an experience that I continuously reflect upon that not only upsets me but makes me angry.

I remember staying up late at night talking about plans for our child with Mister and the night we got the phone call with ultrasound results that changed our world of content into an indescribable ache.  I didn’t want to leave the house as I couldn’t contain the envy I felt towards every mother I saw walking around with a pregnant belly.  I constantly felt a sense of nostalgia as I envisioned holding my baby; the vision so numbing as every time I opened my eyes I realized my hands were empty.

Anger creeps in when I see so many people who have been gifted children but do not give a damn.  I know people who deliberately choose to have children and yet put in little effort to make sure their children grow with the utmost love and support.

Despite an unfortunate miscarriage, Mister and I still desire to have children.  Everything we have done in our relationship has been a foundation for having a family of our own.  We have spent so much time trying to grow our business and we have come to the agreement that financial stability is required in order to provide for our family.  However, we also agree that financial security is not the most important aspect of raising children.

Interesting Note:  Prior to meeting Mister I did not have a period for over four years (due to PCOS and general unhappiness with body and self).  As soon as our relationship started my periods came around every month like clock work; happiness and love really do make a difference to your physical well-being.

I am now left to wonder if PCOS will deprive me of my desire to have children of my own.  I’m grateful to have the support of Mister who has comforted me to know that once we are ready we’ll do everything we can to have a family of our own.

Source

Love & laughter,
Curly Miri

Dinner Is On Me

My love and I went out to dinner last night.  As we entered the restaurant I noticed many patrons looking intently at a couple in the middle of the dining area.  I couldn’t help but stare too.  The guy-tall, slim and incredibly good looking and his gorgeous girlfriend ate away, laughing and holding hands.  We took our seats and Mister told me to stop staring, but I couldn’t.  The girl sitting at the table next to us laughed at the couple, “Omg, she’s so fat, how did she get a hot guy like that?” At that very moment, in a Hollywood-like movie gesture, and as if to flip off his audience, he stroked his girlfriend’s face and uttered such a sweet symphony, “You’re so beautiful, baby.  I’m so lucky to have you.”

So justifiably, laughing girl shut her face.  I admired their strength as a couple and a torrent of memories washed over me.  I was once in her shoes.  I was the plus size girl that people stared at as I dined with my ex, a 6’4 American with looks that have been compared to the likes of Leo Dicaprio (I disagree, personality can make a person so ugly).

Over six years ago I was in an unhealthy relationship.  I lost my sense of self, the weight piled on and my self esteem plummeted.  On numerous occasions, when I went out with the ex people would stare, laugh or even flirt with him right in front of my face.  “He’s going to leave you if you don’t take care of yourself and lose weight,” an aunt would say at every family gathering.  Needless to say, this aunt is single and almost 50.

I have been left to wonder, why does my weight have to define what I am deserving of?  It doesn’t.  A few years ago I could rock skinny jeans in a size 10 (US 8).  However, my relationship with ex-Leo made me feel like such utter shit that I ate myself to a size 20 (US 18).  Our relationship ended and within a year I was size 12 (US 10).  I’ve been called fat and it’s not being called fat that bothered me.  I’m concerned for the idiot calling me fat because their brain does not register the fact that there is more to me than my weight.  I am a person of worth.

I have grown up with six beautiful sisters (one biological sister, the rest first cousins.  Our mother’s are sisters) all of whom are far from plus size.  This is due to genetics, my maternal grandfather is Chinese.

Sisters & Me in the middle

 

Sisters & Me-I’m in the middle (curly hair)

I adore my sisters because my weight has never been an issue to them and they love me as I am.  If you surround yourself with loving people, this will only further your appreciation of self and your sense of worth.  Being beautiful is not about weight or how others perceive you; it is about how you perceive yourself and how you project yourself to others.

I’m now rockin’ a size 16 (US 14).  Society considers this to be ‘plus size’.  I have spent a copious amount of time debating with myself; “Should I lose weight?”

I have reached a point of realization.  I will maintain a healthy lifestyle but I will not let my weight define who I am.  As long as I don’t accumulate rolls that lead me to the danger of tumbling down a hill, I will embrace who I am rather than what weight I am.

Let me show you.

Love & laughter,
Curly Miri