This piece is derived from the experience of first love. I wrote this to encompass the notion of disappointment, disgust and betrayal. Love does that sometimes.
Often we take for granted the words we speak, unaware of the harshness or negative influence it may have on another person. I wrote this after being upset with the burning words of a person who I love. Always speak kindly.
I wrote this for my sister on her birthday. Leah turned 22 and is currently living in Australia.
When my mind is clouded and I can’t help but dwell upon pain from the past, a simple kiss or touch from my love can wash it all away.
It has been five years since I lay on our bed, wishing for my tears to wash over me and numb the pain felt in the depth of my being; allowing me to sleep forever. You left, with three boxes of your belongings and that stupid television I told you was a waste of space. My heart felt like it had been ripped from my body. Every breath ached with lonesome sharpness and I yearned for you to just return and hold me, even if your arms were of lies and deceit. Every morning, you greeted me with the stench of foul whiskey. Every night, I waited for you to come home, you never did because you were with her.
I remember you once referred to our love as the essence of Imzadi. Bullshit.
The thought of you no longer crosses my mind. I should be happy about that but then I feel I’m betraying the rare occasions of bliss that we did experience.
The day I moved on from all that was us, I swore that I would not ever let another man make me cry or yearn for comfort that should be rightfully mine. I lied.
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This piece relates to my first love. He was once mine but he fell in love with a stranger while we were at a party. I guess my naive state of mind believed our love was real and would last forever. I do not regret loving him or this experience. There is always a valuable lesson in such experiences. In this instance, do not fall in love with a Hanson lookalike.
I attended the funeral of a sweet 8 year old boy who fought a courageous battle with cancer. I can’t make sense of why children are taken so soon. The parent’s eulogies were uplifting and spoke of a son who never complained throughout his treatment, who in the end comforted them in their pain. This boy lived a full and meaningful life and has left a large footprint in the hearts of many. His strength of character is admirable and motivating to the human essence. Young man you have given me hope for my own path in my life, thank you. I became overwhelmed with emotion at the cemetery when I glanced at his mother who displayed an immense sense of grief. I closed my eyes and in the distance I could hear her deep whimpering and it broke my heart. Love your loved ones with all that you are. Say and do all that you want to do. Life is precious.
I had the pleasure to collaborate with a fellow writer and friend. iron_word via Instagram. These words echo the love/hate mechanism in relationships. At times when I am fuelled with anger my ears want nothing but silence from the people I love. The rest of the time, their words are the sunshine of my life. That make sense? lol