Thursday Treats

A special entry of Thursday Treats inspired by my recent engagement to Mister.

 

Source: ruffledblog.com

I’ve always envisioned a wedding reception beneath a canopy of trees, sitting among our loved ones laughing, dancing and enjoying great food and music.

Samoa or Auckland are the two destinations in mind.  We have an upcoming trip to Samoa in August, so we’ll be on the look out for potential wedding venues.

If we choose Auckland, I would love a winter wedding with a vintage inspired theme.  This would be my dream dress:

Source: aisleperfect.com

Source: aisleperfect.com

 

Bridesmaids would mirror the vintage theme accordingly in my favorite color, pastel green.

bridesmaiddresses

Source: everythingsparklywhite.tumblr.com

 

No wedding reception is complete without a vintage dessert table filled with an array of decadence.

Source: Unknown

Mister would look handsome regardless of his attire.  We looked at a few Groom options and his pick was a classic black tux.

Source: stylemepretty.com

Baby’s breath brings back so many memories of my childhood, my favorite choice for wedding flowers on tables and as a bouquet.

Source: weddingchicks.com

If we choose Samoa, the tropical weather will mean a change of dress so we’ll keep that option open.  An exciting part of life, can’t wait to be your wife my Mister.

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Check out the Thursday Treats category for more treats.

Love & laughter,
Curly Miri

4:14 am

He said:

This is not your home.  It is mine.

You have a bad heart.

If you were a good person you would allow me to do whatever I wanted in my house.

Bring over drunk women at 2 am.

Allow them to break glasses and commit adultery in the bathroom.

Disrupt your studies.

Oh, that’s right you’re trying to better yourself for us.

But why?  You’re useless.

You can clean their mess in the morning.

Let me talk to my friends kindly and treat them with respect.

As I talk to you like you’re a piece of shit.

__________________________________________

She said:

I once believed your heart was pure.

There was a moment in time when you adored me.

You would whisper words of love that would nurture my soul.

Gentle and kind.

Loving and true.

I looked up to you.

My heart is good.

I am enough.

I just wish I was enough for you.

Curly Miri © 2014

Eleven

I was only eleven.  His welcoming arms and tender embrace felt so safe.  Going to the beach was our favourite pastime.  We would walk hand in hand along the shore in search of pretty shells and slimy seaweed.  I looked into his eyes in search of kindness and in return his beaming smile made me feel like I was loved.  I guess that’s why I felt special when he would visit me in my bedroom each night.

At first, we would talk for hours then as the evenings grew colder he would lay with me beneath my covers and touch me.   I was taken aback the first time he kissed me, his lips stale with the stench of cigarettes accompanied with the sweet words, “It’s okay, I love you.  I just want to make you feel good.”  I did not hesitate as he made me feel complete.   He wanted more so he started to caress my inner thigh and in between my legs he would lay and the pleasure I felt made me feel like I belonged to him.  He made me promise not to tell anyone, especially our family.  Telling me that if I let anyone know about us that our bond would be broken and no other could ever love me the way he did.  I believed every honeyed word that left his lips.

I yearned for his embrace each night.  No one told me that what he was doing was wrong.  I did not feel that being loved could ever be wrong, even if it was by my own uncle.  The years passed and our relationship continued.  He would bring girlfriends around to family brunch on Sunday.  In my jealousy I would threaten to inform my family, but he said it was to ensure they would never think anything was going on between us.  I believed every saccharine word from his mouth.

I left home to be with him when he moved to another town.  I was overjoyed when I became pregnant and thought he would share in my joy.  No.  This moment of happiness was removed in an instant.  He slapped me across my face and beat me until I could no longer bleed, leaving my baby without a heartbeat.   Didn’t he love me?  Didn’t he want me?  Did I not give myself to this man every night for six years?

Tonight, I shall return to the deep blue of where we once walked hand in hand.  No longer will I collect scattered shells or delight in his shameless paradigm of affection. I will remember the sweetness of being a child, innocent and untainted by a love that has torn the core of my being.

I will be free.

Curly Miri © 2014

*This story is inspired by the many women who have experienced this devastating ordeal within their own family.  Women take care of our girls, protect their innocence.

Check out the “Not So Pretty” & “Experiences” category.

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Love & Laughter,
Curly Miri

At Last

engagedI felt the essence of clarity and the passion of our affection in this very moment.  My heart trembled in utter bliss as the depth of your love swept over me.  Elation crept into the crevice of my being as you whispered the words, “Will you marry me?”  I stared into your eyes, virtuously undisguised and I could see your beautiful soul without reserve.  Tears streamed down my face and happiness presented itself in the most pure form as I accepted your proposal.  Mister, I can’t wait to be your wife.

engagementring

 

ring

 

To My Unborn Child

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The only photos I have when I was pregnant were taken in Samoa at Matareva Beach.

 

I run wildly in this forest of deception, never halting, bleeding endlessly as I search for your beating heart.  I am cloaked in the mirage of your beauty.  I look for you amongst the trees, beyond the horizon and in the distance I see your smile.  The purity of your essence, now lost, captivates me, paralyses me and I can no longer run.  I am unashamed of my yearning for you to return to my womb.  I succumb to this melancholy as it covers me in the torn remnants of your love.

Curly Miri © 2014

Love & Laughter,
Curly Miri

Carry You

I want to hold you so much and experience life with you. Why is this happening again? Your dad took this photo of us in Samoa, our home. You made us so happy. I already picked out your name. I should be preparing for your arrival but now you are gone. My heart aches as I miss you and I lose you all over again. Please come back, baby. Let me hold you. Let me see you.  Let me carry you.  Love, Mom.

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